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A forum for the House Of Night Novels created by P.C. and Kristin Cast. Here, you can discuss each book of House Of Night and each individual characters etc. And also you can role play.
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 Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric)

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Female Join date : 2009-06-14
Location : England

Character sheet
Name: Alexus Dimidium
Age: 18
Affinity: Spirit

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PostSubject: Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric)   Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric) I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 26, 2010 5:47 am

This is a fanfic that I made quite a while ago, but only got up to chapter two (quite long chapters) and I've decided to carry the story on because I liked it lol.

It's based on the Twilight characters but they're not vampires - just humans.

Here's a little summary:

Bella is forced to move to Seattle. She is overqualified for her job but everybody thinks she is a tramp. Except her new friends. Edward and Bella don't get along. Can they put their pasts behind them and form a friendship? Or more?

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Name: Alexus Dimidium
Age: 18
Affinity: Spirit

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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric)   Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric) I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 26, 2010 5:50 am

Chapter One


Sighing, I picked up the rubbish that was left lying around on the table. Jesus, no one ever heard of a bin, or are they just too fucking lazy to put their shit in it? I thought, pushing open the swinging lid on the bin and shoving the crap in.

I put the tray in the holder but stopped moving as I felt something wet and cold on my leg. I looked down, only to find a vanilla flavoured milkshake running down my black trousers, marking the part over my most private area with white.

“Oh for fuck sake, it took hours getting the hot chocolate stain out last time!” I muttered under my breath, grabbing a cloth and trying to wipe myself down.

I noticed feet walking past me and looked up to find three girls walking past, snickering at me. I rolled my eyes at them and tried smiling, but turned the other way anyway. Next thing I knew, I felt something hard hit me in the chest and I was sprawled on the ground. I looked up to find a guy holding a tray of rubbish by the bin and a disgusted expression on his face.

“Next time, look where you’re going, and Christ, you could actually try messing with yourself at home,” the guy said, whilst just placing the tray of crap on the nearest table. “Ugh, this place is disgusting, where did they employ you from?”

He stalked off towards the front doors, muttering under his breath. I managed to catch a few words and relief washed over me as he said something about “the crazy bitch only made me angrier after what that Tanya did” before disappearing out onto the car park. Looks like there wasn’t going to be another complaint about the “clumsy person cleaning tables”. He was angry before I even bumped into him. Yet, he didn’t have to take his anger out on me did he. I mean, it wasn’t like I fucking ran into him on purpose, injuring myself in the process! Jeez, some people just need to fucking withhold their anger and then let off their steam on other things, rather than on innocent random people.

Once again, I sighed and picked myself up off the floor. I put the rubbish he had left in the bin and went to wash my hands.

Ever since my mother had left me to live by my father, I had to start a completely different life. I used to have everything done for me, without me never having to lift a finger. My mother insisted on it because she still considered me a child at the age of 24. But I knew I couldn’t live like that forever.

But sometimes I regret my decision to leave her alone with him and move nearer to my father to rekindle our relationship. However, I tell myself it’s for the best. Definitely better than what I was put through.

I rubbed my hands vigorously together with soap and rinsed them off. I activated the hand dryer.

I never blamed my mother for what happened, and I don’t blame her for sticking with the new love of her life instead of her lying, abusive and child-minded daughter. Well, that’s what he said I was anyway.

The only thing I blame her for is not letting me see the real world as it is, instead letting me find out when I go off on my own.

I was brought out of my inner thoughts by the burning of my hands. They had dried and hot air was blowing on warm skin, causing them to heat up in pain. I pulled them away and took a few strides towards the crew room.


I whipped round to the sound of my name and my insides did a little cringe of their own as I realised who it was. I should have known by the sound of his voice. Mike Newton.

“Hey, Bella. Remember that get together I told you about the other day?” He asked as I turned my head at an angle so I could breathe fresh air. His breath smelt like someone went into his room every night and had a shit in his open mouth, not brushing his teeth.

“Oh, that get together?” I replied, in a fake curious voice. “You mean that fat-ass party that’s going on up on top of the hill, where everyone’s been invited apart from me? Yeah, I know the one you’re on about. Where little nobody’s don’t get invited to because they’re too lame to attend such a “sick” event? Yeah, yeah, what about it?” I asked, ranting on in a nark voice.

Mike looked a little nervous and uncomfortable at this point. “Erm, well, I was... just wondering if you were... you know... going? I mean... you don’t have to get invited to go there... you just had to you know... hear about it. And I suppose you actually know about it seeing as I told you like the other day. So... you going?”

OK now I feel like a right twat. I should have known this dweeb would never have got invited. I just thought he was gate crashing it or shit. Shit, what do I say now?

“Er, right. No, I don’t think I’ll go. I mean it’s not something I do so, you know, why would I start now right?” Man, I don’t know if this guy will take the lie or not. I used to party all the time when I lived with Renee but since I moved here to Seattle 2 months ago, I haven’t met anyone worthy to party with. And I am most definitely not socialising with this geek. But it looks like I made a mistake by not meeting friends straight away – I have a lame job and people see me as a tramp.

“Well, if you change your mind, I’m more than happy to escort you to it, if you don’t know your way there?” He finished his reply as a question, so I guess I got to give him an answer. How hard is it to get to the house exactly? It’s a freaking mansion on top of a hill. No one lives up there! Not rocket fucking science is it?

“No, I think I’ll stick with watching a movie with a mate,” I lied. Time to get out of here. I gave him a small, quick smile and turned on my heel to go when he asked a question that I almost squealed at:

“Oh, do you mind if I join?”

I turned to him, trying not to show him the disgust in my face. Shit, think quick.

“Erm, well actually, it’s my boyfriend’s house, and like, it’s just me and him. I mean, you’ll be a total gooseberry and it’ll be uncomfortable. Maybe take a rain check?” WHAT?! What the hell did I have to say that for? God, I’m trying to get rid of this guy, but I just told him another time??

He gave me a wide smile, teeth and all. Great. “Yeah, sure, another time. We could go to the movies or something. We’ll have to make plans soon.”

I tried smiling but I think it turned out to be a grimace. “Right, well I best get going. Got work to do. As you know, you are my boss.”

Yeah, that’s right. He’s my manager. And he’s asking me out. How sick is that? Actually, it could have some advantages you know. Promotion, pay rise maybe? Shut it. Never consider that again!

I gave a quick wave and walked off to the crew room again and relaxed as soon as I was out of his sight. Since I started this job, he’s never left me alone once. Always asking me if I need help, whilst pushing himself closer to me. Asking if I need a ride home after every shift, even though my silver BMW M6 Convertible is sitting outside.

Yeah, everyone wonders how the hell I afforded that car. Well, let’s just say that I’m overqualified to be working at greasy old McDonalds, but it’s just a day job for a couple of months whilst I look for a job that suits my needs.

You see, my mother wanted me to go to a University in England when I turned 18, so she decided the two of us would move over there for a couple of years. I went to Staffordshire University and studied Forensic Science. And, I graduated. I am a Forensic Scientist who now happens to live back in the USA and working in a part-time job at McDonalds. Just as I wanted it to be. Not.

I sighed for the millionth time today and carried on with my work, glancing at the clock every 5 minutes. 3.45pm. Another 15 minutes to go before I’m out of here and 3 days off!

But, what am I supposed to do when I get home? Pig out on the couch again, watching Braveheart for the thousandth time this week? Cook dinner for a family of 4 when it’s only me who’ll be eating it?

Don’t get me wrong. I have a body to die for, as I’ve been told by almost everyone, boys and girls. I can eat a whole cow and maintain the same figure I have now. A chest that makes guys drool, an ass that they wish they were tapping, and a body so slim that, no matter what I wear, it always looks pretty amazing just because I’m the one wearing it.

But unlike most girls, I don’t flaunt it.

Sometimes, I wish I did, just so I get that attention that everyone craves from lads. Yet, if I try too hard, then I’ll be attracting the wrong people, lads that come up to me and rub themselves up my leg like a dog on heat. No, I don’t get turned on by THAT thank you very much.

However, ever since I came to Seattle, I’ve just been lonely, not one bit of attention coming my way (apart from the freak of a boss). I’m used to having so many friends that I don’t need to try. People begged to be my friend years ago, but that’s all changed now. I want it back!

A glance up to the clock showed 4pm. I threw the dirty cloth in the designated bucket and near enough ran to clock out. I decided what I was going to do tonight. I’m going to that party and I WILL flaunt myself, and I’ll be brushing guys off as if they were flies attracted to food. They can look but they can’t touch.

I clocked out and grabbed my coat and bag in haste, just wanting to get out of this stinking uniform. I can’t wait to get out of it forever once I find the right job! As I walked out the front doors, my car keys swinging on my index finger, trying to dig into my bag to find my mobile phone, I felt myself colliding with something small and soft, but hard enough to throw me off balance and landing on my back side for the second time today.

“Why me?” I whined as I tried picking myself up again.

Whilst I was whining to myself and trying to brush myself down, I heard a little giggle and a voice to my right. “You should try looking where you’re going if you don’t want to fall down all the time.”

I turned around with a confused expression set upon my face. I thought I had bumped into an inanimate object of some kind, rather than an actual person, and the way she spoke to me wasn’t angry at all. It was as if she didn’t care that I just knocked her flying and not even tried helping her up. The words spoken were not in a tone of anger, but the way you talk to a friend or relative.

As I focused in on the girl, I started to notice her appearance. She had short, black hair that was spiked softly at the back. She looked rather small and petite, but must have been in her 20’s because her face looked rather mature. She was wearing some black leggings with black heels decorated with silver baubles on them, at least 4 inches high. She had an emerald coloured top on that was designed to be a bit longer than necessary so they went with the leggings. Great, the clothes look expensive and I bet I’ve created a hole in them now.

When I looked back to her face, she had a cheery smile that looked quite contagious. She was wearing minimal make up, showing that she was naturally pretty, only wearing a bit of eyeliner and a little mascara. I noticed I was smiling without trying, which is rather unusual for me. I always had to force a smile on my face for most people, especially strangers. I knew there was something about that cheery smile. It WAS contagious after all.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I knocked someone over!” I exclaimed after noticing she was still on the floor. I held my hand out to her so I could pull her up. She didn’t take my hand straight away, instead cocking her head to the side and looking as if she was examining me. She did a little shake off her head and then grabbed hold of my hand. I pulled and was shocked at how light she was. Either that or I have a lot of strength. Yeah, right.

“No worries, I usually get knocked over because of my height. I’m only 5 feet tall so no one usually sees me coming,” she replied. She talked rapidly so I had to strain my ears a little to catch every word and stop them from merging into each other. “You’re very pretty.”

Her words shocked me a little and I took a step back to stop me from losing my balance again. I was wearing this dirty old uniform, covered in shit, and she was calling me pretty when I just fucking knocked her on her tiny ass! I looked down at myself and back up at her with a questioning expression.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. And how rude of me! I’m Alice. I just happen to say the first thing that comes to me. I got a little excited that’s all. I haven’t seen you before. Do you live around here? Are you new in town? What’s your name?” It seemed that she said all of this in one breath! Right, what question do I answer first?

“My names Bella,” I replied. “Yeah, I live here in Seattle and actually I moved here like 2 months ago.” There, that was all of the questions answered.

“I’m not one to judge but is that a McDonald’s uniform you’re wearing? Do you work here?” She asked with a curious tone. She seemed really interested.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s only a part time job. I’m overqualified really, but it’s something to keep me out of the house whilst I’m looking for a job that suits me. Otherwise I’d just be lounging around the house.” Oh my god, did I just really tell the truth to a complete stranger? But there was something about Alice that makes you be honest. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it though.

“I knew you looked out of place in that horrid clothing,” she exclaimed with a huge grin. She had pearly white teeth hidden underneath full lips. “You seem smart as well. What qualifications do you have? What are you up to tonight? How old are you?!”

She asks a lot of questions in a short amount of time. I couldn’t help but smile at her curiousness. What was I doing tonight? I just realised that I had forgotten all about my hurry to get home and get changed.

“Well, I was thinking about going to this party that’s going on, which everyone’s going to. I thought I’d do a bit of socialising since I haven’t done any since I moved here.” One question down two to go. “When I said I’m overqualified to be working at McDonalds, I seriously meant it. I’m a qualified Forensic Scientist and Investigator. And I’m 24.”

“My gosh! You’re like, totally the same as my cousin! He’s 25 and a Forensic Investigator. He’s cracked so many cases it’s unbelievable. You should meet him. He might be able to set you up with a job. Although, he’s not very happy at the moment, but as soon as he sees you I bet he will be!” She was practically jumping on her tip toes at this point. She suddenly stopped and a look of realisation crossed her face. “Wait, you said you’re going to the party tonight?” I nodded my head, and waited for her to carry on. “My cousin will be there! I’ll introduce you! Eeek I can’t wait!” She was now squealing out of excitement and I couldn’t help but chuckle a little and this extraordinary human.

“So I’m guessing you’re going then?” I asked her to try and get all the attention of me for a bit. Blimey, you’re actually getting some attention for once in years!

“Oh yes, I wouldn’t miss a party for the world! I’m 23 years old but it feels like I’m still 21, as if I’ve just become legal to drink. Plus, there’s someone at the party I want to see.” She did a little a wink and clapped her hands together. “Hey, why don’t we go to the party together? Rose and I are getting ready at my house, we always do this kind of stuff.”

“Who’s Rose?” I asked

“Rosalie. She’s my best friend. She’s really nice but doesn’t have as much energy as me so she doesn’t show her nice side much. Everybody respects Rosalie.”

“She sounds powerful,” I laughed. Hmm, Alice seems really cool. She reminds me so much of Angela.”Erm, yeah, why not? I mean, I don’t really want to make a grand entrance by myself.” I bit my lip a bit nervously. Damn, I didn’t think about the entrance!

“Cool! Well, you can drive to my house and then we’ll walk from mine. The Hale’s house is only up the hill from me.” So the house must be owned by this Hale person. I smiled and nodded my head in agreement.

“Well I guess I best get my clothes then. Erm, which house was yours again?” I asked, knowing that I’d probably get lost.

“Oh, you won’t get lost.” I blinked. How did she know I was thinking that? “There’s only two houses on that street. Mine and the Hales’. Mines the one at the bottom of the hill. Easy.”

“Oh right, Ok. Sounds good to remember.” I smiled and thanked god that I didn’t have to remember any directions or any house numbers.

“Right see you at mine about 5pm?” Alice suggested.

I snuck a peek at my watch and saw that it was 4.30pm already. “Erm, OK its 4.30 now so I’ll have to rush. I’ll see you later then.”

“OK bye!” Suddenly, I felt myself being engulfed by arms and pulled downwards. I realised it was Alice trying to give me a hug. I tried hugging her awkwardly and let go. She smiled up at me and skipped, yes skipped, off towards the cash point next to my place of work.

Such an intriguing person.

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Female Join date : 2009-06-14
Location : England

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Name: Alexus Dimidium
Age: 18
Affinity: Spirit

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PostSubject: Re: Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric)   Nothing Is As It Seems - (Non-vampiric) I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 26, 2010 12:41 pm

Chapter Two


Stupid scheming, cheating, lying and deceiving bitch!

“Edward, please stop cursing in your head.” The sweet and innocent sound of my mother’s voice interrupted my internal ranting. She always could tell what I was thinking, but never revealed to me how she did it.

I smiled back at her, but the flash of that... whore... came back to my mind. I had enough of all the pent up frustration I’ve been holding in so this time I’ve decided I’m going to let it all out. Besides, my mother would know exactly what I was thinking, so why bother hiding it?

“I hate women!” I exclaimed, feeling the pressure being released. “Women are liars, and they care about nothing! They think that they are the saints and the men are the sinners. Well, it’s wrong. It’s the other way around! Not once did I lie or cheat on that low-life of a bitch that dared called me her ‘love of her life’. I cared for her, waited on her hand and foot, but all she did was just throw it all back in my face! I hate women! I’ll never trust one again, and I certainly am not letting another one back into my life!”

I took a few breaths in and relaxed a little against the island in the middle of the kitchen. I looked up to see my beautiful mother, never sad or careless, with a frown upon her face. In a flash, I was by her side, assaulting her with one of the biggest hugs I could manage.

“Except from you, Mum. You are the exception to my view about women. And Rosalie, of course. But every other women, no way. They might as well just ignore me, because I will be turning a blind eye to them. But you mother, I will always love and cherish. You are THE woman of the world, no one comes as close to loving as you.” I felt her smile against my cheek and released her from my hug attack. I knew I should have thought about what I said, but if anyone understands me, it’s my mother.

“I know darling,” she replied. “Everyone in this world can be vicious and spiteful, but they all have a different side to them as well. You will just have to find the right woman for you. There is one, and you will find her, and I think it will be fairly soon. Believe me, son, you will find the one, just like I did. I thought all men were horrid, that is until I met your father. And I went back on my word and took back all the stuff I said. You will find her, and I cannot wait until you do!”

“Mum, there isn’t anyone for me.” I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes, a reflex to stop me from getting frustrated. “I’ve looked and looked, you know that. How many girlfriends have I introduced you too? I’ve been trying ever since I turned 16. Now I’m 25 and still unsuccessful. I’m just facing up the fact of my life – there isn’t a woman for me. There never was and there never will be. I have everything already; a perfect house, perfect job, perfect car, perfect family... It just was never be to have the perfect woman for me.”

A huge sigh came from my mother, causing me to stare into her sympathetic face.

“Edward, if anyone deserves happiness, it’s you. There will be someone out there for you - you just have to keep looking. You probably won’t notice when you first meet her, but in the end you’ll know if she’s the one.”

I sighed and gave her a small smile. I knew she would see right through it but there was no point in caring. I straightened up, deciding I was a bit peckish.

“I’m going to get something to eat. Seeing as how you’ve just eaten, you’re not hungry are you?” I asked, resulting in a shake of the head from Mum. “OK, I’ll be back soon.” I walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek and grabbed my keys off the key hanger.

Walking out of the door, I noticed it was quite a fine day. My silver Volvo was shining brightly in the sunshine and it made me just that little bit happier. I stroked the roof of my beauty before opening the door and climbing in. Nothing wrong with giving your car some affection.

As I turned the key in the ignition, the engine roared to life and a soft purring sound followed it. Driving down the highway was absolute perfection, just utter smoothness. Nothing could top this ride. It was official – my baby was the best in town.

I pulled off at the junction that leads to my destination. I didn’t want to eat too much, because my mother always cooks me so much food in the evening, so I didn’t want to spoil my appetite. I pulled up and parked in one of the bays in front of the building and made sure, twice, that my Volvo was locked up. You never know who’s hanging around these places nowadays.

It was crowded inside the restaurant. Some tables were dirty, others were newly cleaned. Where’s the bloody person that cleans this place up? All I came in here to do was get a little snack, but the state of this place could put you off food for the day. Three girls walked past me giggling about something and one eyed me up and down. I rolled my eyes at her and gave her a filthy look. Women, they think that if they eye-fuck you, they’ll have you in the palm of their hand. Yeah, right.

I placed my order at one of the cashiers. A manager was serving me, and I recognised him but had no idea where. Must have been to one of Jaspers’ parties. I shrugged it off and sat down at one of the cleaner tables, away from the overflowing bins. The food was alright, but I couldn’t wait for one of the extravagant meals that my mother has up her sleeves.

Just then, I felt a vibration in my jacket pocket and realised it was the phone. Pulling it out in haste, I didn’t bother looking at the caller I.D.

“Cullen,” I answered.

The voice I was least expecting was on the other end. “Hey, babe.” I almost dropped my phone in shock and disbelief. How dare she call me?!

“Don’t, EVER, call me again. It’s over. I don’t want to know you anymore,” I replied and almost spat into the phone. I hung up on her before she could whine and ask for me back. Again.

Fucking Tanya! She thinks she rules me and my thoughts. But she doesn’t! I won’t let her. The first woman I thought I loved decided to hurt me. If this what love brought with it, I don’t think I want it. Feeling the smoke almost exploding out of my ears from anger, my appetite being lost, I picked up the tray of leftover food and twisted towards a bin.

I didn’t realise that someone was already walking towards it at the same time. Also, I didn’t realise how close to the bin I actually was. So when I turned around with the tray being held outwards from my own body, I happened to strike the person in the chest. But, for some reason, I didn’t react as I usually would. I would have put the tray down, apologised, and help the person up when they were knocked down.

Instead, something changed in me, and I blamed it on her.

Her. A woman. She must think that I would be putty in her hands. Well guess what. I’m not being glamoured by women no longer. So I said the first thing I thought as I took in her appearance. She was wearing the McDonalds uniform except, it was lightly covered in old food. A white mark was left on her trousers just where the zipper ended. A bit of disgust and vulgarity should do it.

“Next time, look where you’re going, and Christ, you could actually try messing with yourself at home,” I snapped, without looking twice at her. I placed the tray onto the table next to me so I didn’t have to touch the bacteria-ridden bin. “Ugh, this place is disgusting, where did they employ you from?”

And, exactly like I did to Tanya, I stomped off without her getting a word in edgeways. She probably would have tried to charm me otherwise, so I might as well save her the embarrassment.

“Just what I need. The crazy bitch only made me angrier after what that Tanya did, and now I’m going home, fuming again!” Great, now I was talking to myself!

I pushed the door open with a bit too much force, hearing it bang off the bar next to it, the clanging noise of metal on metal deafening my ears for a few seconds.

A shiny silver object caught my eye in my peripheral vision and I glanced at what it was. A silver BMW M6 Convertible was sitting in one of the bays. Huh, must be passing through Seattle. I owned the best car in town for certain, so this car owner must just be on their way on a vacation or something.

I shrugged it off and opened my own car door but didn’t stick the key in the ignition. I was in need of calming down before driving, everyone knows that. A few deep inhales and exhales, I felt like I was fit enough to drive. The purr of the engine made me calmer than I already was and no longer had a cloudy vision. Time to go home.

Fifteen minutes later I was lying down on the living room couch, listening to the music through my headphones from my iPod. Total relaxation listening to some of the old ballads.

The vibration in my pocket alerted me to a text on my phone:

Edward, ring me please. Fucking house phone has died!

I chuckled at my best friends’ stupidity. He’s able to text me yet not ring me off his mobile? I dialled his number and put it to my ear. I heard only one ring before he picked up.

“Hey, Jasper, what’s up?” I asked.

“Fucking house phones are stupid man,” he replied. “I forgot to put it back on the base and the battery died quicker than Emmett having a shit.”

Laughter bubbled out through my mouth. God, this lad can make me laugh, no matter what mood I’m in. “Jasper, you do know you have a mobile that you’ve just text me with right?”

“Err, yeah ...” He must be waiting to see what my point was.

“Sooo, why didn’t you just ring me off your mobile then?” I actually quirked my eyebrow at the phone.

“Oh, well, what’s the point of me having a house phone if I could ring you off my mobile. Simple. Mobile to text and house phone to ring. If I’m not in the house than that’s when a mobile is useful for ringing.”

I shook my head. “Whatever. Anyway, what did you want?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s about the party. Emmett’s coming right?”

“I should think so. He’s never missed one before has he?”

“Well, no, but just double checking. Rosalie will flip if he doesn’t. Is... your Alice coming?” Strange, he kind of hesitated before asking that. I decided to brush it off though. Probably trying to make conversation.

“My pixie of a cousin? I have no idea. I can ring her if you like? Why?”

“Oh, you know, she has a lot of hot girlfriends. Just wondering if she was bringing them. Ya know, to liven up the party a little. Besides, you need your mind taken off that slut.”

“I am not using women to get her off my mind. I’ve decided to boycott women. There’s no use for them really.”

“Seriously, dude. You’re not turning gay on us are you?”

I choked on air. “NO! Of course not. Jeez, how could you think that?”

“No worries, kid, I’m just joking. Don’t get your thong in a twist will ya?”

“Shut the fuck up.” I sighed and pushed my hair out of my eyes. I need a fucking haircut seriously. It’s getting out of hand, all wild and everything. “Well I’ll give the small one a ring and talk to Emmett. Still need those Clubland CD’s off him?”

“Yeah, cheers mate. Guess I’ll see ya about 6?”

“Why do I have to be there so early all the time?”

“To help me set up and get this party started. You know how it is.”

“Fine. See you in a bit.”

I hung up on him before he could start a new conversation like he tends to do. He can fucking talk for the States, man.

I was in the middle of dialling Alice’s number when my mobile beeped: One New Message: Alice.

Fucking hell, she’s got to be psychic. It opened up:

Goin 2 Jaspers’ party. Invited sum of the girls.
New girl in town!! How excitin!! U can meet her 2nite.
Love ya! xD
Alice xox

I sighed at the excitement and energy she always has. She’s never going to grow up. Bless her. I started typing a reply back to her.

You get too excited for your own good.
Don’t bother with the girl. I’m done with them for a while.
I hate women. They are all bitches.
See you at the party,

I pressed send and it must have only been about 10 seconds before another came through. I swear she’s totally psychic. That or she was already typing another one.

Don’t turn gay Edward plz!!
And wat bout me?! Am I a bitch 2? I thought u loved me?
All I do is care bout u, but nw u call me a bitch?!!
And wat bout Aunt Esme? She has never caused u any hurt! No1 in fact!
I’m so upset rite nw.

Shit. I did the exact same thing with my Mum earlier. Except, Alice is much more emotional and takes things seriously. Looks like I’ve got some fixing to do. And I swear her and fucking Jasper share the same mind. Me, Edward Cullen, gay?! It’s too much of an insult even to think about.

Oh please, Alice, I didn’t literally mean everyone.
You and mum are the exception to this. Rosalie as well, even though she treats most people as her bitches.
I still love you, little cousin. You’re the best.
How about I treat you to some new shoes? A surprise?

I’m going to regret offering her some new shoes. She’s going to want a pair that costs about $100 because she happens to be obsessed. My phone beeped again as another text off Alice came through.

The shoes best b perfect!!
And u best hope tht I dnt pass tht on 2 Rose.
U knw wat she cud do 2 u!
So make the shoes worth it.
Alice xox

Sighing, I dropped the phone onto the couch next to me. Right, that’s Alice sorted out. Now time for the brother.

Making a trip up the stairs, I shouted for my older brother, Emmett. We were more like best mates rather than brothers. You could hardly tear us apart at school.

“EMMETT!! Emmett, Jasper called! Where are you?!” I called, but guessed that he was in his room. Walking up to his room was like climbing a mountain. This house was four stories high but with so many staircases, you could hardly count them. And he happened to live on the top floor. As I reached his door, I put my ear to it and listened for movement or for his voice.

Cocksucking fucker! Bitch, twat, bullshit!” Yes. He was in his room alright. I knocked on his door and twisted the handle. If he didn’t want anyone going in, he would lock it. It opened.

“Hey Emmett.” I said, announcing my presence. He was laying across his king size bed, like a huge bear hibernating. He was so huge that most people would run away from him at first sight, but if they listened to him talking and caring about people, they would say he was a teddy bear really.

“Yo brother. What’s up?” He asked me, as I shut the door behind me and sat on the couch next to the bed.

“Jasper called. You still going to the party tonight? Rosalie would have your balls off if you don’t turn up.”

“Pfft, you’d think I’d miss it? Man, parties are my life. Except from Rose of course.” He chuckled and sat up looking at me. Then suddenly he was shouting out. “Cocksucker!! Motherfucker!!” You could see him straining against it.

“Emmett, I listened through your door. It’s only been a minute since the last bout. Have you taken your medicine this evening?”

He shook his head and hit his forehead with his hand. “Fuck, no I didn’t. I forgot man, must have fell asleep.”

He got off the bed and started towards his en suite bathroom and came back a few seconds later with a glass of water. He pulled open the bedside cabinet and got out a bottle of pills. He shook out two and chucked them in his mouth. Raising the glass to his mouth, he closed his eyes and gulped the water down. He wiped his mouth and put the empty glass on a coaster and put the bottle of pills back in his cabinet, shutting it. He turned to me after that.

“Thanks, bro. Can always count on you to remind me.” He gave me one of his sweet smiles and I patted him on the back. Emmett had to count on me quite a lot, even though I was younger than him. You see, Emmett had a disorder. It’s quite common but anyone would hate to have it, because of the problems it causes in their lives. Emmett has Tourettes Syndrome and sometimes he forgets to take his medicine. If he remembers to take his pills, he still comes out with a lengthy string of swear words. But if he forgets, they come more often and more violently.

“No worries.” I paused to remember what I was going to say to him. “Oh, Jasper wants you to take your CD’s tonight,” I said, standing up and heading for the door. “Don’t forget them.”

“I won’t. You driving me there tonight?” He asked with a pleading look.

“Sure. I don’t think I’m in the mood to get rat-assed but I’ll be drinking so we’ll have to stop at Jaspers. I already know you will be anyway.” I smiled and opened the door. “Be ready for 6,” I said before walking out and shutting the door behind me.

Right then. Best get ready for the nightmare to begin. A whole night of women trying to score with me. Great.

I sighed and walked off towards my room, in need of a shower.

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