Dreamer's Poetry

Cool! Does that mean that I would have a revised version of your poems?!

kuso!!!!! i lost everything i wrote earlier.................. because i clicked on 'open link' by accident..................... now what? rewrite? okay.. i don't have that time now to rewrite. i'll write a new one when i've the time to, but just very briefly....

about words. yes, i sitll think it's not necessarily the way to write the poem. too many cooks spoil the brooth, too many boombastic words in one write, it becomes a word spam. but it sure does add depth to writes at times.

are you there: all i know is that this senior is greatly admired by my friend. i have no idea how she looks like, what subject she took, which school she's in, what she likes/ detests, etc. she's an ALMOST anonymous person to me.

tuneless melodies: read the following, this is what i always imagine when i'm relieving stress or feeling depressed:
... can post it here now. it's in my story, door, but it's not up on any of my websites (and because i'm not at home at the moment) so I cannot post it up here now.

GMG: yes. 无奈. Can't help but to feel hopeless for these pitiful lives whose extinction are determined by us humans.

Honestly, mine doesn't have much vocabulary (if you were to scrutinize it). they're all not 'difficult' words so to speak.

tuneless melodies: okay.. i've noticed (just) that i've deleted that part out. I'll add a paragraph of that into my story. >< please anticipate the continuation of my story ><

i'll try to post up the revised editions with the original here as well. but i may remove it from this site some day, and stick to fictionpress and poetsanctuary. you can join those two sites to find me.

both have '3M2R' in the display name. look forward seeing your writes on fictionpress/ poetsanctuary! people there are nice

Okay, I know I disappeared for way too long and you're gonna call the cops on me soon, haha. But I'm glad to be back and I sincerely apologize for not replying any sooner. Well, you know it's my O levels year and I'm being stressed out. Which, for the record, I'm having my exams starting next monday. When will the torment end??

I have entered those two sites before but never became the member, I shall meet you there if I joined and I'll inform you too:) Truthfully, I had stopped writing for a month now, all because I am so busy with schoolwork and that my muse had went for a vacation and have yet to return, so I guess I'm stuck again huh? But I still do enjoy reading other people's works. Chasing after time is tiresome.

Withered Flower - I don't know which version I like best. The chinese or the englsih one, because they are equivalently amazing, but reading chinese for a change, man! Your chinese is good! So I guess I like the Chinese version better, It's just uncommon for me to read a poem in chinese, I mean a poem not descended from centuries ago, and you're actually my first 'modern' Chinese poet that I consider 'Bang4' Let's just say, reading it in Chinese, it was another feeling, another experience.

Wearing Soul - I like the revised version better. The flow is smoother, and the choice of words are better. Besides! It rhymed more! Congrats on making it so fluent and perfect. (Yes, I'm using the word perfect) Funny it seems that I feel more when I read the revised version compared to the original version, yet it's not like I'm saying the old version sucks, haha. Sorry, It's been too long since I gave reviews on anything. School remember? XD

Collected Souls - LOL! I was rocking to it. This poem gave me an impression of a rap music ( I meant good) I was totally attracted to it! All the while pumping my head while I was reading, yet I understand those words really well. Especially how you start each verse with a...similar pattern of phrases.

You missed, you forgot, you ignored this girl,
whom saw your shadow leave and never return,
Often, I'd ponder if you'd this carefully planned.

Glad to say that you had me inspired for a story. XD

PS.

I was considering on writing a short story ( first time!) and I am asking your help in giving me some tips. Would it sound odd that I am inspired by the title? I named the story Parade of Terror and Death, and I have the ideas, but I don't know how am I supposed to write this into a SHORT story, I was used to writing novel-long, so I would kindly appreciate your help:)

Err. I wasn't really expecting it because ik how busy you are. Thanks for loving my writes. And i was inspired to write the chinese version because my friend wrote a chinese poem. Just curious how it'd go... Welll other than you, no one had,commented on that revised version... Mst of the ppl on fictionpress dont read chinese. Nor do those on poetsanctuary.... In which makes me ponder why... Because so many foreigners are learning and sending their kids for chinese classes.

The revised version of wearing soul took me an hr to write because of the rhymes. Thanks for the encouragement here!

Collected. This was written for a competition on a site.writing in the style of a certain poet. I didn't notice that i did till you pointed it out. Lol.

As for your story... I can only help you if you tell me the gist of the story. Actually, for one shots, its better to leve it a cliff hanger. Now, how would likely be the question you may be asking at the back of your mind. First, lay out your story. Don't bother abt the chpters and all. Just a systematic point by point approach. Like first, this happens. Then where next? How is it resolved? Then what happens next? Time line basically. So yea, just write out the timeline then all the nitty gritty events just delete them. Then you will have a shorter timeline. Split them into storyboards. Then find the main objective of the story. Determine climax and make sure you do not sweep past it. Introductions, leave it to the most brief - hair, eye, lips, other DISTINCT features. Height isnt important unless it contributes to the story.DO NOT have more than one point of view, EVEN if you are taking omnicent perspective. Always make sure you do not have more than one main event. You can have one other sub event, but always get back on track, back to your main story plot.

Hope that helps, it's just a general gist, but it varies from person to person. Besides, dont take my stories as examples because i don't think they are gd enough to be.

(ik i left out a lot of inverted commas... I using my phone now so it is a lot of hassle to keep changing btwn keyboard and number pad.)

Songs

Lines of different meaning,
includes every little feeling.
The unique touch each holds,
as beauty from within unfolds.

The melody that hums,
with the beats of the base drums.
Just let the music run,
and have all of the sorrow shun.

Soft and sad some are sung,
Bright like daylight others has rung.
Often it seems so real,
It's 'cause that s how you really feel.
~Ger.


Please Don't Stop The Music (revised of 'Songs')

Plain words strung into lines,
with meanings not well defined,
yet provoke emotions so fine.

A unique touch to every melody,
sensed and percieved differently,
as beauty from within unfolds gently.

Tunes nailing themselves in,
souls in the crowd drownin'
as it hums to the base drums beatin'.

Though it sounds equally as low,
but having an idol share the woes,
does lift the mood on the whole.

And even if you hate to know,
but all these feelings which flow,
your inner self is slowly shown.

~Ger.

Waning Star

Twinkling against the light blue drop,
draping emotions left to mop.
Secrets hidden behind this wall,
unheard even through nightfall.
Seeking the fire of craze,
to set the passion ablaze.
Sighing in utter despair,
when hopes start to wear.
Watching as it slowly dies away,
as desires get killed by gamma rays.
~Ger.

Falling(revision of 'Waning Star')

Gazing at the bleakness lit by blinking spots,
heart of draping emotions create knots.
Silence sharp and piercing beyond this wall,
collection of secrets piling up so tall.
Awaiting a certain unknown spark,
to set the passion ablaze in the dark.
Exhaling with every inch in dismay,
when desires and hopes are kept at bay.
Desperation fades to resentment,
as gamma rays begin to decent.

~Ger.

Songs

Lines of different meaning,
includes every little feeling.
The unique touch each holds,
as beauty from within unfolds.

The melody that hums,
with the beats of the base drums.
Just let the music run,
and have all of the sorrow shun.

Soft and sad some are sung,
Bright like daylight others has rung.
Often it seems so real,
It s 'cause that s how you really feel.
~Ger.

Please Don't Stop The Music (revision of 'Songs')

Plain words strung into lines,
with meanings not well defined,
yet provoke emotions so fine.

A unique touch to every melody,
sensed and percieved differently,
as beauty from within unfolds gently.

Tunes nailing themselves in,
souls in the crowd drownin'
as it hums to the base drums beatin'.

Though it sounds equally as low,
but having an idol share the woes,
does lift the mood on the whole.

And even if you hate to know,
but all these feelings which flow,
your inner self is slowly shown.

~Ger.

Waning Moon

Earth, our gentle slope,
laughter ignites our hopes.
What's left for a drowning soul,
when the sky's nothing but a big black hole?

Melody of singing birds,
those unspoken heartfelt words.
What's joy if grief is not heard,
when it's only slowly bleeding inwards.
~Ger.

A/N: After rereading this, I wondered why I had titled it Waning Moon. It had not even the least reference to the Moon.

Heart Attack (revision of 'Waning Moon')

Devoured, yet unsavoured.
a bitter, cold tale yet to be told.
What's left? Only a drowning soul,
For all's just a bleak, dark emptiness.

Nature's melody, sweet yet ignored.
Waning heart, like the devine Diana.
What's happiness? Only grief is deepening.
For blood is only dark, thick and clogging vessels.
~Ger.

The Scream

Silence of the night,
beauty of the dark.
Shadow against light,
A soul makes her mark.

Tracking in the sand,
Sorrow carved deep in.
Drag away from land,
her last unheard to her kin.
~Ger.

Embodiment of Inspirations (Revision of 'The Scream')

Image on a wall,
faces of distress,
all distorted.

Picture on the floor,
jagged and curled edges,
brown and charred.

Painting in a frame,
3D and lively,
sets mind thinking.

Installations fills the ground,
humans and life portrayed,
realistic but surreal.
~Ger.

A/N: I know this is a completely different thought as compared to the Original write, but I was inspired to write this because the original write reminded me of 'The Scream' by Edvard Munch (artwork). The image of myself at an art exhibition and all the images of installations, photographs, painting, collage -- various forms of artwork came to my mind.

Cozy Flavours
(Collection of writes about random sights and sounds of Singapore)


Love Them, Appreciate Them
Zero six fourty-five,
at Helix Bridge of Marina Bay,
route to integrated resort,
home to entertainment and joy.
'Twas there that I witnessed,
helmeted soldiers marching past.

Zero seven fifty-two,
sixteen thousand guests and parents,
all seated and earnestly watching,
as batches followed batches
marched onto the floating platform.
Songs of reason to serve NS,
replayed and nailed into our heads.

Zero eight thirty-eight,
minister delivered his speech
to the graduating soldiers,
and gave awards to best recruits,
as the sun bore down on us.
Medics hurrying round the square,
as four fell consequetively.

Zero nine twenty-three,
they remarch onto the platform,
as neatly as they were before,
but smartly fitted with their hats.
They did their military roar,
and threw their hats as their mark.

one zero oh-zero,
gates unlock and audience streamed in,
onto the grounds where recruits were,
embracing their beloved ones.
Authentic smiles of relief flood
the features of the young and old.

Those were all that we saw,
yet the hardwork behind it all,
we've heard but didn't experience,
we may have seen but'll never know,
the arduous march of twenty-four
kilometres across our land.

Those were all that we knew,
yet the agonizing effort
they've put in to serve the nation,
deserves limitless gratitude.
Lets' not over-penalize them,
by using STOMP to disgrace them.
~Ger.

A/N: NS = National Service. Something all Men aged 18< have to attend for 2 years.
STOMP = Straits Times Online Media Press (something along those lines). it is a site where people can post pictures up...and it has caused a lot of trouble for the NSmen.



Rise Above


By the calmness
of the waters,
it stands still.
No moves, no sound,
nothing at all.

Yet, for what it is,
it still is admired.

Then and again,
the day is gone.
The crescent smile
hangs high above,
like the queen
amongst the starlit sky.

Against the dim twilight
of the stars,
it lights up and turns.

For whom, for what?
For the world to see.
The beauty it holds,
deep beneath.

Whether day or night,
it never fails to
please your sight.

In it's hands,
the trump card is.
Beauty of its dancing lights,
the fireworks has to stand aside.

The exquisite sight calms
as the night goes by.
Ever so slowly,
the sun rises once again.

~Ger.

Truly My Home (Revise of 'There's Nowhere Like Home')

Domicles of all kinds,
features of all types,
personality of all sorts,
all found here -- our home.

Spectrum of colourful voices,
choices of many courses,
decide for your own future,
learning from zero -- our education.

People from various walks of life,
leading vastly different lives,
living is all about the strive,
cash of sweat -- our work.

Night life at Orchard,
or 24/7 food stores at Geylang?
All at armlength's reach,
return contended -- our entertainment.

Whether it is to grow,
learn, live, work or play,
I'm appreciative of what I have,
this is truly -- MY home.
~Ger.

[There's Nowhere Like Home

The comfort,
the joy,
the laughter,
it gives.

A homeland,
a place,
a dreamland,
our home.

There's future,
there's hope,
there's nowhere,
like home.
~Ger.]

The following two are on General Election (GE) which was held yesterday, and results concluded this morning, by 3a.m. :

Dominate the Cabinet

Rallies after rallies,
for nine days straight,
not even the least hint
of weariness.
[Admirable perseverance seen]

Every party pulling votes,
through media like facebook, tv and twitter,
how so interesting!
[Trying all means to get close to younger voters.]

Only one constituency,
with a sure win situation -
where our amiable MM Lee stands,
others retreat in fear. [For they know his power, for they know is iron-will.]

May the seventh, ten at night,
still having news telecasts showing
the anxiously awaiting voters
of most constituencies.
[ 'lingers my desires,/ Like to stepdame or dowager']

To me, I cross my fingers and my toes,
praying, hoping and wishing
PAP wins every single seat,
for our Father's pParty has really worked so hard.
[Sacrificing their youthful vigour for US.]

GO PAP! SINGAPORE AWAITS YOUR RULE ONCE AGAIN!
~Ger.

A/N: Yes, I AM pro-PAP (They've been the ones taking charge of the parliament for all the years I've known. They're the ones who gave Singapore independence, and evolved Singapore to what it is today.)


Father's Party

Oh no! I see six seats gone!
What now? Will there be more?
I am permeated with fear,
but I stay firm and rooted,
to Father's part -- PAP.
Because it was YOU,
that we became independent.
Because it was YOU,
who educated us.
~Ger.

A/N: This was after the first few results were out.

Say No to Oppostion!

You are powerful,
and you can influence
my thoughts, actions,
and manner of speaking,
but you can never
waver my faith.

You are strong,
and you can force your way through
my mindset, behaviour,
and way of presenting myself,
but you can never
alter my beliefs.

I will stay
true to whom brought me up
and gave me a homeland of safety,
by these stringet laws that has
bonded us together,
as a nation.

I must try
my best to exert my
influence too, to the most I can,
to win converts from oppositions
to join me, and our leaders,
in a fierce fight,
for justice and rights.

I may not
like some faces in there,
but I won't turn to another,
just because of the minority,
I'll stay firm and true,
to them whom gave me these...

And made me who I am today.
~Ger.

Even though if no one comments here, or rather, only nate reviews my poems, but I find comfort in posting it up here... Probably because I know the people here who reads my poems have integrity. Well, so I trust those who read them enough not to copy my poems and repost it elsewhere. Even though it isn't anywhere near good, but I'd like to say that I still feel originality is very important, especially to writers and poets.

Here's another to add, although I know, obviously, that you won't have that kind of time to review all of them. Just pick any to review I'm fine. I know you'd have read all of them anyway. Just that writing reviews (the way you do) will take forever if you were to review all of my poems. Again, I'd like that emphasize that I'm not posting this to get your reviews. I'm just posting because I know that you all have the integrity not to copy and that I find comfort in posting.

Thanks a lot, Nate and Katie... I may not be posting much in future. Post up as much as I can now so you can take your time to review >< Just joking. Not expecting all of the poems to be reviewed, after all not all of them apply to you all.

I know this sounds like some leaving letter. Probably probably. I'm not sure. But maybe, just maybe, I might stop writing poems altogether... Stories too... Not that they're affecting my studies, and even if they are, they would have affected my studies in a positive way, especially language and literature.

This thread may no longer be here anymore... in future... and my accounts on other sites too.. I may delete my accounts. Not that I think online friends aren't good or are taking a lot of my time... But Idk... I just jeez. Forget it... But if you want, you can always msn/ email me. I will always read your writes, whether stories or poems or even prose, just mail them to me. I'll always be ready to read anything from you all.

Especially to Nate. Thanks for praising my works all these time. It really encouraged me to keep on writing... But I guess I gave up on my own will because I sense a kind of desperation to find something to write... when I'm all empty already.

Maybe I'll continue to write as well.. And post them up again a long time later... so long, you all would probably have forgotten you all are members here too.

I don't know, but I'm feeling torrential mentally, screwed up psychologically, erratic emotionally.

But I'm glad I came to meet you here, nate. It was nice knowing you. Really nice. REALLY.


And before I end, I'd like to add another poem:

Leave. Live. Life.

Torment. Torture. Torrential.
That is enough to sum up
all of my life,
thus far.

Cold. Chilling. Corrosive.
I dare not extend
my hands to accept,
any help.

Intimated. Inhibition. Introverted.
I will rather stay
at this corner,
all alone.

Alone. Aside. Abandoned.
It makes me relieved
that at the very least,
I wasn't a burden,
to anyone.
~Ger.

And this poem, in which I thought I'd never be able to post it to any friends. I think I can now. Thanks katie, thanks nate.

I'd like to dedicate this poem to you, Nate, for being such an awesome friend:

True Friends
Friends are gullible,
they're like gold.
Use them and they're gone,
treasure but they leave.

Friends are vunerable,
they're like bubbles.
Blow them and they drift off,
hold them but they pop.

True friends are reliable,
they're like coals.
warms you when you're cold,
steal not your fame.

True friends are strong,
they're like diamonds.
Precious to the soul,
lasting to the eye.
~Ger.

-- And you are a true friend (I hope).

As for katie, I can't find the poem right now... It's in the other computer I believe.

I'll be posting anything I create today. Guess I'm inspired when I'm not in a good mood.

Sleeping Beauty

Soaked myself in tears,
hoping to fill up
the empty heart of mine.

Allowed water to pour on me,
hoping to wash away
all the traces of my loneliness.

Blaring music once again,
hoping no one hears
the echoes of fears I hold.

Sink into a bed of roses,
hoping to draw life
from petals of burning love.
~Ger.

guess i can't stop writing. but yeah, i still feel depressed. idk... probably because i've been cooped up at home all week... if it's not school, i'd be home. /sigh/
haven't started revising for any subjects... and my results are horrendous... idk where to begin...

Ger,
Your poems are FULL of rich vocabulary and imagery. Your diction is amazing, as well as your knowledge of English.
Now, words aren't really the substance of poems nor do they really define a good one.
BUTTUTUTUTUTTUTTT
Diction, word choice, is one of the key elements used when analyzing them. Of course it's not just big words that diction is defined as...For instance, when (I can't remember in which poem since I just read about 40 <3) you used "mornin'" instead of "morning" it was you making that word choice. It really up'ed the poem in a sense and made it even more enjoyable.
So the fact that you think about your words before you put them into your poems, makes your poems even better than they were before.
WHICH is why, Nat, don't per se worry about vocabulary and big words (even though, Ger, I must admit it adds a certain voice to your poems. Elegance, maybe?) think more about, "Should I describe this more?" Make them feel what you feel through richer language. And really really think about word placement.
Like when Ger used mornin'. xD

Ger, I absolutely loved your Color poems. That collection was awesome.
KEEP IT UP until the fat lady sings (don't worry I won't be singing for a long time ;] )


Sorry, I've been gone for so long. School has just ended for me, so I'll be on here for about two full months. hehe.
Remember when it was back in December, and we were posting like crazy before break ended? haha. I can't believe that was so long ago.


P.S. I LOVED Cozy Flavours!!!!! Especially the picture. It was so beautiful. I wish I could go someday. haha. Eventually!

Wow, I have been gone for like forever (yes, this is not the first time) How have you been guys??

And I agree with Katie, Ger, you have such a wide use of vocab in your poems! I'm so sorry that I have been missing out a lot, gosh I miss the good old days! But exams are just around the corner, the dreadful O levels, and I'm leaving for college orientation on Thursday, I have not written any new poems nor stories lately, everything was put on hold and I felt my inspiration leaving for good. Everything has been stagnant (lol, I don't even know why I used this word) and it's good to read some perspectives into my routine-like life. Yeah, I'm talking about your poems, hehe....

Warning Star

-Can I say I laughed at the end? Don't get me wrong, I didn't laugh because of mockery, but it was funny! I mean, because I just watched I am Number four, the whole alien perception is still in my mind, so when you wrote gamma rays, I was totally imagining it. This poem left me with an exhilarating effect, and the choice of words was direct and perfect, I couldn't think of a more suitable word to describe warning star.

Drops of poetry

-Well Ger, do you know that you have came up with a brilliant and fantastic way to write a diary? (Perplexedly Relaxed and Coming Downfall, it sure as hell looks more interesting than reading my old boring diary, haha)
-Songs and Please don't stop the music are both brilliant, but I liked Songs better. You describe music so well do you know that?
Lines of different meaning,
includes every little feeling.
The unique touch each holds,
as beauty from within unfolds
I like that you too appreciate little details in life, many people tend to overlook the small aspects in life that actually portrays true happiness, true happiness comes from the simplest things like eating good food and watching a good movie, or reading a book! And from this stanza, I feel the notes of the music, it's magical, and I'm feeling happy:)

The Scream

-OMG! Do you know that I was inspired to write a poem titled the Scream from the artwork as well? (But I never get to it, ) And I'm glad I didn't, The Scream always gave me this eerie feeling, maybe it's because of the too-wide mouth, lol. But when I saw the artwork, all I could thing of is TERROR. the word kept on flashing in my mind. So when you wrote the poem, you gave me the goosebumps.

Drag away from land,
her last unheard to her kin.

Come on! Don't that sound scary to you? Haha. I was actually imagining a JU-ON figure on the sand at midnight and she was dragged into the dark water....before she flashed her not-so-charming face. Ju-On always creeps me out.

Ger, you're not seriously considering of not writing anymore right?? I mean! You can't! NONONONONONO! ONLY I CAN DO THAT! lol, I'm overreacting here, XD....But seriously, you have no idea what you're missing if you don't write, you're a very talented writer and it's not everyday I meet someone like you, in fact, your poems inspire me and 'talk' some sense into me, your poems are real an not make believe, your poems centers around every single aspects of life, not just life and death, betrayal and romance, but something much much more! Like the colour poems, the poems for Singapore, I don't read that every day! So you can't stop writing, you just can't!

Leave. Live. Life

Honestly, you had me there. Yup, I'm on the edge of tears, maybe it's because I'm thinking of your kind words (and I never mentioned what a great friend you are, thank you for being with me all these while:) I opened up a lot to you more than I do with my own friends, well, I can say, my introvert side) and to read this poem, particularly the last line, you're just not that okay Ger! You're never a burden to anyone:) You're a great addition to the lives of the people you know, and I bet you'll be a major contributor to the world, whether if it's economically, emotionally or politically. Somehow I think you'll be a great politician and make better changes to the system:) You're quite creative after all!

And Ger, I think I'm balling right now....Your true friend poem is so touching, I never had anyone who wrote poems and dedicated them to me before, so it was a huge gift, the best gift I could ask from a friend:) I am the one who always wrote poems to others, but I know in my heart that my poems are insignificant compared to gifts that could be bought with cash, yes they'll read it, and yes they'll appreciate it, but I know it's not enough to be remembered always. That's why Ger, thank you for your poem and I'll carry it to the grave. Thanks for being there:)